dac's blog

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Oh, , you're going to hate me for posting this...

The Boston Globe

   August 21, 2006

   Roxbury MA (AP) - A seven-year-old boy was at the center of a Boston
   courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who
   should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by
   his Parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in
   keeping with child custody law and regulations requiring that family
   unity be maintained to the degree possible.

   The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him
   more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When
   the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy
   cried out that they also beat him.

   After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning
   that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the
   judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who
   should have custody of him. After two recesses to check legal
   references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted
   temporary custody to the Boston Red Sox, whom the boy firmly believes
   is not capable of beating anyone.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

I hate Amazon's plogs (blogs written by authors). I've been disappointed just how bad most authors come across when they don't have an editor between me and them. That and plogs take up room on the website.

So I wrote a Greasemonkey script to get rid of them: plogs-die-die-die.user.js. You'll need to be running Firefox to use Greasemonkey.

Monday, August 21, 2006

To clarify, I was not responsible for that outage. In fact, I was in the place where I could cause the second-least damage: a meeting.

The place where one can cause the least damage is, of course, management.

In a pardoxical twist, the most amount of damage is caused by a manager in a meeting... but I digress.

Friday, August 11, 2006

According to an article in today's Seattle Post-Intelligencer:

Amazon.com is developing a system to gather and keep massive amounts of intimate information about its millions of shoppers, including their religion, sexual orientation, ethnicity and income.

Gee, if only I knew someone who managed the customer database at Amazon to check up on this. Wait a second. I'm one of the folks who manages the customer database.

But... there aren't any fields in the database for this. Oh, wait -- this is a super-duper-ultra-black-top-secret project, right? After all, I did learn about it in the newspaper and not from my bosses. Let me check -- oh, I know! I'll bet that IS_TAX_EXEMPT column is actually storing sexual orientation!

Sheesh.

Wednesday, August 9, 2006

I can type faster than I can write. However, I can talk faster than I can type.

As a project lead, this means that I can sketch out an idea on a whiteboard and someone will go off and implement it. In the meantime, I can start working on something else; evetually, the person I was sketching this for comes back with the idea implemented.

It's all a bit strange, and I'm not used to working on interrupt cycles like this. At the same time, it's neat; it's almost like I'm parallel processing without resorting to cloning myself.

Monday, August 7, 2006

My cats have found out how to get my attention when I'm out of town. They've learned to press the power button on the power extension/tree which my router is plugged into.

Monday, July 31, 2006

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the next 3 sentences on your blog along with these instructions.
5. Seriously, grab the first book you see. Not the most impressive book you see.

In the Visualization Toolkit, we call this collection of graphics primitives polygonal data. The polygonal dataset consists of vertices, polyvertices, lines, polylines, polygons, and triangle strips. The topology and geometry of polygonal data is unstructured, and the cells that compose that dataset vary in topological dimension.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Wow. I don't even want to think about how much money I lost today.

Channeling Dilbert

Last Monday...
Program manager: We promised our client feature X, and discovered it doesn't work. How come?
My team: Um, because you never told us about it?
PM: Ok, well, we're really in a bind here. How soon can you do this?
Us, grumbling... Well, let's see. If we stop everything we're doing and put Dave on the task, we can hit August 9^th with 80% confidence.
PM: Hm... how about August 2^nd?
Us: Not really, that's awfully tight. We might pull it off, but there's less than a 50/50 chance. You should tell [client] August 9^th.
PM: Well, ok. August 9^th it is.

Last Wednesday...
Me: Ok, I've gotten the changes made and have a sample available on my desktop. Can someone verify this?
Other teams: Hm... there are a few issues we didn't expect as a result of this. Can you fix those, too?
Me: Ok, I'll look into them.

This past weekend...
Me: Issues resolved. Can you re-run your tests?
Silence
Me: Hello? Hello?

Monday...
Other teams: Yeah, ok, verified that the issues are resolved. Thanks for working on this over the weekend, even though we weren't willing to sacrifice our free time to help with this urgent feature we needed.

Today...
PM: Why isn't this out to QA yet?!!
Us: Um, because today's the 26^th, and we're still packaging things up to get it to them by Friday.
PM: But... but... you can't! You have to do it today!!!11!1one!!eleven!!!
Us: Why?
PM: Because it has to be out by August 2^nd!
Us: No... we told you August 9^th. August 2^nd was if a miracle happened.
PM: But... but... it did! You got it working already! And I sorta promised it to [client] then.
We fume, steam comes out our ears, etc.
My manager, cc'ing our VP: Gee, that's too bad. Good luck explaining that to [client].

Monday, July 24, 2006

AMD & ATI

For those who don't care about chips -- silicon, not potato -- skip this post.

For those who do, you've probably heard that AMD has agreed to purchase ATI for US$5.3 billion in a deal which has been rumored to be in the works for a few months now.

I have mixed feelings about this. On the one hand, I've been advocating the need for tighter integration for awhile now. Having a full computer-in-a-package -- processor, memory, and even magnetic storage -- where the only ports are power, video/audio, and human interface device ports will enable a wide variety of devices we've only started to think about.

On the other hand, why did it have to be ATI?

I've found Nvidia's offerings much more interesting in this area. They got the idea right in the first place: they made GPUs, then chipsets, then chipsets with GPUs in them. (Admittedly, these were low end and many people reading this have probably panned them, but I'm not focusing on the power-user market here.) In some respects, the only things left were the processor, memory, and storage. Perhaps AMD felt threatened by them?

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Ferry security announcements

You'd be surprised at the frivolous things people complain about. (Yes, I'm guilty as charged, here.)

Recently, the ferry system here changed the security announcement which is played over the public address system at the beginning of every run. Instead of having an unnotable voice read through it unemotionally, they're now recited by local celebrities, and in such a manner that their personalities come through.

You can't help but notice them -- which is the point.

Mariner's play-by-play announcer Dave Niehaus is generally regarded as the most annoying. I've tried to ignore it and focus on my work -- it's darn near impossible. Local radio personality Ciscoe Morris is amusing; he finishes the announcement with, "Enjoy your trip, and don't forget to eat your Brussel sprouts."

Governor Christine Gregoire's tape doesn't have her actually read the announcement itself. She gives an intro (in a strangely depressing voice) about how the Washington State Ferry system is one of the safest in the world and asks you to heed the security message, which is read by an unnamed assistant.

At any rate, the announcements are the subject of more conversations (that I overhear, at least) than the major world crises. Still not as prevalent as the conversations about Dilbert-like working conditions, though.

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Victoria

They say you can get around in Victoria without a car quite easily. What they meant to say was, "You can get to all the tourist traps in Victoria without a car quite easily."

We were rather disappointed. Don't get me wrong; it's one of the prettiest towns around -- nice harbour, seaplanes landing every few minutes, gardens, nice architecture, etc. Underneath, though, there's just no substance.

The Royal BC Museum was a letdown. The First Peoples gallery was rather dry (mostly fact after fact); the modern history gallery was amusing for all the wrong reasons (a display on life in Canada in the 1990s...). The temporary exhibits (think: games with a thin veil of education applied) were a strange sight, as they were on loan from the U.S. The "Speed" exhibit used imperial units and bits of U.S. history everywhere. The "Fore the Planet" mini-golf game was non-location centric up until we got to the part about the migratory path of some bird. The map of the Americas you putted on omitted Canada entirely.

Ah, well. Vancouver should be better, from what I've been told. And Toronto, Montreal, and Charlettetown (PEI) were all quite enjoyable.

Everything has gotten more expensive, though, with the C$ up near US 90¢.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Making a run for the border...

With my wife and parents-in-law, we're infiltrating deep into Canada this weekend.

Ok, not exactly that far beyond the border, and parts of B.C. which are south of the 49^th.

Hm... we insisted on carving Point Roberts out of Tsawwassen, yet we let them keep all of Vancouver Island?

Monday, July 3, 2006

Grr. I have managers up my ass this morning, asking me to help get this nasty bug fixed. We've proven it's a compiler bug; I've shown it can be fixed by updating our compiler from its 1998 vintage to something a tad more recent, like 2002 or 2003 . We're now trying to write code which does nothing, but coaxes the compiler into doing the right thing.

In the meantime, the entire Amazon build infrastructure is conspiring against me.

"Your password is about to expire in 37 seconds. Change it on this page -- oops, sorry, we broke that page!"
"This host isn't bootstrapped for builds -- oops, sorry, you don't have permission to bootstrap it."
"You haven't deployed the build infrastructure to this host -- oops, sorry, our deployment servers aren't responding."

This wouldn't normally annoy me to the point where I'm posting about it except for the aforementioned managers in my ass. I don't really like anything in my ass, thank you, let alone managers.

Sunday, July 2, 2006

For those who are feeling that sense of rejection...

From FOUND Magazine.

Monday, June 26, 2006

Is it just me, or has the use of "misspoke" increased in the last few years?

... and let God sort them out.

Ah, the brilliance of Antonin Scalia:

The American people have determined that the good to be derived from capital punishment - in deterrence, and perhaps most of all in the meting out of condign justice for horrible crimes - outweighs the risk of error. It is no proper part of the business of this court, or of its justices, to second-guess that judgment, much less to impugn it before the world ...

So if we end up executing someone innocent, it's ok! Because, you see, it's what the people want.

Maybe we can save a bunch of money by abolishing our courts entirely and having the attorneys duel it out in a press conference showdown. The people demand it!

Wow. It's not every day that someone donates $37 billion to charity.

Friday, June 23, 2006

Monday, June 19, 2006

One of the perks of working at Amazon is that we get to meet some of the authors and musicians whose works we sell on the site (as part of the Author Fishbowl series, not to be confused with Amazon Fishbowl with Bill Maher, which stole the internal fishbowl name). Last Friday, I got to meet Douglas Coupland, author of Generation X and Microserfs. He was on a book tour promoting his new book, JPod. (We got free signed copies! Woot!)

Very interesting guy. Very strange guy. The eclecticness of his novels -- he will occasionally take a break from the story and just fill a page or three with random words and phrases in varying sizes -- is not some cute act; he is like this in real life.

I don't know what to compare the experience to. Maybe it's like meeting a crack addict who is just coherent enough to lucidly convey the train of thoughts that are rushing through his head.

Not much else to report. I was the primary on call last week, which meant I got very little sleep. Tamara and I went hiking yesterday on the Olympic Peninsula, this time up Royal Creek near the Dungeness River (which feeds Dungeness Bay near the old town of Dungeness, which lends its name to a species you've probably heard of, Dungeness Crab).